fin

What I was doing

Hi All.

So I have been abandoning MY HEART for a while again - there is too much HAPPENING and usually I am too busy with LIFE and all its HIGHS and LOWS and mundane things like…

and

and

which really does ' t go together and makes me re-evaluate my aim / dream / path in life again and again

Anyway most of the time I just look like a depressed 17 year old in the corner of the classroom so I will finish this INCREDIBLE and ARTY and DEEP post with this really moody picture of myself , taken whilst on Skye so sorry for not listening for 5 minutes - the light was just perfect.

Talk soon.

xo.

diaries

Dear Blog,

I am watching. I am listening. I am taking pictures. I am moving. I am standing still. And sometimes, when I do have time I breathe. In and out and I stop for a second to see what is going on in here. And out there.

I do feel that this blog is turning more and more into what I would like to call a journal. A journal that is out there about what is in here.

And I am quite happy with it. I guess every day I just start discovering new sides of me. And every title reminds me of a stage in my life.

When I look back at it, I am glad how things were and what I knew. Sometimes wishing I would have known more , sometimes sad that I didn't know less.

If this makes sense, I am glad about it. If it doesn't , I am glad too. Because what really does makes sense in this life sometimes ? Just the things we decide to.

Up there is a collage of 'people'.

・

is there a way out ?

is there ?

・

strangelove

(Depeche Mode Strangelove)

・

untitled

I come from a place

I dare not speak it's name

Because If you do

The dementors will come and eat your soul

If they haven't already taken It

While you were wandering the grounds

Pretending You were somewhere else

・

the february issue ・ 7

Salvation !

Does not come easily

Pick it up

Hang it to dry

Watch the sun

As the clouds pass by

・

the february issue ・ 6

Me quiet here
You self destructive there

I am leaving
You are teary eyed

I am staying
Get some food

Eat the stars
Eat our scars

Scabs on the road
Scabs on the pavement

I smoke
You talk

We divide
Into nothingness
・

the february issue ・ 5

How did this happen ?

And why ?

When your body gets cold

And your brain is still working

On that one question

You see

Coldness is Absence 

Warmth is Presence

When your body gets warm
As you lie awake at night

And your heart is trying to solve that one equation

1 + 1 = 2

You begin to see

Two hearts, two fists, three chains

Two hearts, two hands, in vain

Two hearts, two gardens, one fence

Two hearts, two lovers, no chance

Your heart says no

Your mind says go

Your father says come

Your love gets numb

Our lungs get cold

My limbs feel old

I pass the time

Committing small crimes

・

the february issue ・ 4

all you say is ' stay '
but don ' t you see that
the longer I stay
the more I go
the further
I float
away
・

the february issue ・ 3

Spider webs like satin threads
Glimmer in the sun

Spider webs surround me
And I run

Tearing off the little threats
Leaving nothing but regrets
・

the february issue ・ 2

Horses racing through my mind like Thoughts.

・

the february issue ・ 1

you want a hug

i give you nothing

darkness resting on my shoulders

the weight of it ?

unbearable i say

understandable you say

'then i go?'

and you stay
・

lately i've been losing sleep ・ the february issue

lately, i found new comfort in using the note app on my iPod.

whilst lying awake and getting absorbed by the darkness of your room cryptic messages sunk through...

although they didn't translate into a visual form as so many times before, they remained as simple as they came : as words or sentences, little poems or just 'notes' if you will

weird

the february issue

a collection of words, by dan, by me

・

LIES

DEEP LIE LIES

LIE DEEP LIES

LIES LIE DEEP

・

this is getting really 24/7

how ?

xo

in the darkest night hour

xo

xo

xo

xo

2 + 0 + 1 + 4 =

7